Great Diet!

I love dieting. It's one of my favorite things to do. And if you could see me with my shirt off, you'd know for a fact how awesome of a dieter I am. These days, as I get older, it's harder to lose the weight, you know? I could go work out more and eat a balanced diet, but that's work and I only work if I get paid. So I'm always looking for gimmicky ideas and, like a professional athlete, ways to push my body. I think it gives me a mental edge over 99% of people I come in to contact with.

Today, I see this diet from Naomi Campbell. I can't wait to start it.

"the model shared her devotion to a diet involving drinking a cocktail of Maple syrup, cayenne pepper, lemon juice and water and eating nothing else."

Even better, as I scrolled through the article after ordering 20 pounds of cayenne pepper, I find out that there are pro-anorexia groups! YES! We need to get these groups promoted more. I tried contacting one member, but she kept fainting when she answered the phone, so I'm going to wait til she gets out of the hospital next week. I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to use all of this information.