So Al and Tipper Gore are getting a divorce and people are shocked. I, for one, am not. I'm actually relieved. FINALLY(!) the sanctity of marriage can be restored! (!!1) It's just not right for robots (say it this way: 'rho-butts'...it sounds way funnier and I need all the funny help I can get) and humans to marry. Marriage is only to be between a man and a woman. Any time you introduce artificial intelligence to God, you're offending Jesus. What next? Gay Robots? Fab-Bot 2.0?Disgusting. Just disgusting.
"The sheer carnality of the kiss -- the can't-wait-to-get-back-to-the-hotel-room urgency, the sexual electricity flowing south -- was riveting," Time magazine's Lance Morrow wrote at the time.
I'm obviously not as attracted to circuit-boards and metal innards as Lance Morrow is. Honestly, even if he was talking about two humans, this is beyond creepy. I feel like he wrote that in a peep show.
But the number of long-term relationships headed toward separation -- like the Gores -- is becoming more frequent with longer life spans and a growing acceptability of divorce, they say.
Part of the theory is that people live longer and don't want to be annoyed by a spouse in those final awesome years of breaking hips, eating Werther's and terrifying drivers all about of great country's highways. But to Al, 30-40 years is a drop in the hat considering he's A FREAKING ROBOT AND HE'LL LIVE FOREVER. No one is mentioning this. Clearly, Tipper is leaving him before she leaves this mortal coil. Good for her. I'm sure Al had already calculated this in his super robot calculator brain.
"Most people stay together because they have a life together," Sollee said. "They have every reason to stay together and enjoy the fruits of their labor together. No one else is going to think your grandchildren are as cute as you and your husband do."
One of the best points anyone has put in to print in a long time. This really has nothing to do with the Al Gore is a robot spin I've put on this story. This is just something for everyone. Really, your kid/grand kid just isn't THAT special. I don't don't care about the crappy art your nephew made. I care more about that beer you should be buying me right now, dammit.
And as hard as I've tried to find out, no word on if Tipper went back to her ex-husband Knight Rider for carnal comfort (though I'll bet Lance Morrow hopes that it's true).
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